hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
