i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
