Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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