I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize