"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
