I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
