and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
