your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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