My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
