He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
