she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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