Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize