i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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