I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
