dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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