i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
