If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
