Just mADE A PArabola og urine
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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