He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
