Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
