Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
