she woke up with a sticky ear
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You left your phone here
Wait...
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