If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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