i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
