Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
