so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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