you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
