I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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