Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
