At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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