Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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