Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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