Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way