so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize