Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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