You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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