I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
