i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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