I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
