once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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