There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
