I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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