Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
