this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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