fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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