3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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