but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
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Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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