Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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