# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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