That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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