you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
