I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I can't trust your balls anymore.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
