If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
