It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize