Soap is not a condiment
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
