why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
