Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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